Friday, March 13, 2009

Well, I saw the new MS doctor yesterday. The good news is that I have not progressed beyond relapse/remitted MS. The bad news, as there is a lot of it, is that they really can't do much for me. Basically, you have MS, deal with it.

She increased my Lyrica and I go back in 6 weeks to see if that is helping. I am to slowly, over the course of 4 weeks increase it. If it isn't helping then we play with different drugs, one at a time, until we find something that 'helps'. And I quote, 'The pain isn't going away. Once it starts you will have it the rest of your life and all that we can do is try to make you more comfortable. We can't take it away completely'.

That was a kick in the stomach.

As far as the neuropathic itch, with it. There simply isn't a drug to treat it yet. I have tried Benadryl, creams, everything I can think of. Nothing helps. It itches so bad. It's caused by damage to the nerves. Same reason for the pain. It's only in certain forearms, legs from the knee down and a band around my waist. I have calluses coming on my arms from scratching so much. I scratch until I bleed. Todd is constantly telling me to stop because I don't even realize that I am doing it.


Todd says that this is the hand that I was dealt and I could be much worse off than I am so take it and live each day and make the best of it.

I have to try and follow that and live by it. I can't let this thing win. I can't let it break me.

Oh...I also have a thing called spasticity. It's from the MS and makes me feel stiff all the time. There IS a drug for that and they are going to start me on that when I go back. She didn't want to start me on too much new stuff all at once.

So, that was my visit.

I didn't post anything for a couple of days because I was in the bed, depressed. I have pulled myself out of there and am fighting that demon now instead of letting it win.

I feel like I have so much on my shoulders.

I remember when I was diagnosed I didn't have any of these symptoms so I thought, ok, I can do this. Now, I feel overwhelmed because all of this shit has developed over the last 6 months and it's just all scaring me.

Make the best of it.

Ok, I'm off to clean the kitchen. Toodles.

1 comment:

  1. Sounds like your doctor visit went as well as mine. Most of the time I think I'm dealing fairly well but then I'll wake up and decide I don't want to get out of bed. Al just works with it until he's too overwhelmed to let me have my luxury of wallowing in pity. The key to it is to pick our selves back up. I'm starting a new antibiotic today. I'll take it too weeks and then start a new maintenence thing and of course it's things I'd rather not do. I say we need a tropical vacation and drinks. Not that I can drink on this crap I take but I could do sand and sun. I know it has to cold as a witches tit up there cause it's that way here right now. Make something beautiful today. Take out your frustration on paper and paint. Love you!